what a night...

... an adventure to say the least. Jon's team was supposed to have a game tonight at 8:15, and from what I assumed, Jon would be coaching at this game. But when he got home from work shortly after 6:00, it was very apparent that this would not be the case. He had developed a severe migraine and hadn't even made it home without having to pull over to throw up at the side of the road. At first I didn't think too much of it. He gets migraines every now and then, and usually, if he takes some Advil and rests in a dark room for a while, he's able to get over it relatively quickly. Not the case tonight.

As the clock ticked closer and closer to game time, it became very clear that he was in no shape to coach in a brightly lit, very loud and crowded gymnasium. So, it left only one option. I was going to have to step in. YIKES.

Now don't get me wrong. I know basketball well and have played and coached over the years, but nonetheless, my heart was still pounding at the thought of having to lead this team of teenage boys (I'd much rather stick to volleyball when it comes to coaching). Jon quickly muttered the few words of advice he could fit in amongst his heaving, and the rest was up to me. So off I went.

I got to the gym just in time to see the last few minutes of warm-up and spent a few minutes trying to gather my very scattered thoughts. Thankfully I have been to almost every game/tournament of the season, so the guys know me, but it didn't take away from the fact that tonight I couldn't just yell from the stands. And let me tell you... my respect for Jon has deepened immensely after tonight. I had forgotten just how tough coaching can be. Especially at AAA Sr. Boys level. It seemed like the quarters just FLEW by and every time I called a timeout with a million things to say, I would almost completely blank as soon as the guys huddled around me! They were very patient with me and when I seemed to be stumped, someone would pipe up with some helpful feedback or suggestion (did I mention that Jon's got a great team of guys!!)

So anyway... we did end up losing but they played their hearts out and I was really proud of the way they handled themselves. The game was against their biggest rival, Chilliwack Sr., which always seems to make it just that much tougher to swallow . But in spite of it all, they pulled together as much as they could and gave it their best shot. I felt bad for them, having been stuck with me, but hey, what can you do? :) When I apologized to them at the end of the game, they just told me that I had done a good job and that they appreciated me coming and filling in. Now how cool is that? Again I say, a solid bunch of guys :)

Tomorrow night's game is in Abbotsford and all I can say is, Jon better be feeling better by then. I'd like to leave the coaching up to him. I perform much better from the stands :) ...

from sunrise to... snowstorm??

Early Saturday morning sunrise on the way to Jon's basketball tournament last weekend. (The picture just doesn't do it justice. The colours were incredible!)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh, and could I please get a little clarification!? Where exactly am I living? 'Cause this is the scene I woke up to this morning and the last time I checked, I moved away from Saskatchewan. What is this all about????

... the sick part is that it just keeps coming down! Where did all our sunshine go?

Life as I now know it...

Nearly two weeks have passed and I must say that God is working in my heart in big ways. I still have moments when the panic sets in and I fear that I won't be able to find work... or more importantly, find work that I will enjoy. But for the most part, I'm just feeling at ease with God's plans for me and trusting that He will provide, as He always seems to.

I've been trying to make the most of this week off. I'll admit that last week was a bit of a write-off due to fact that the shock and pain of losing something I loved so much, was still too much to wrap my head around. But this week has been infinitely better and I'm amazed at how much I've been able to enjoy this time to myself. I signed up for a membership at the Leisure Centre and have really enjoyed spending my mornings working out at the gym. Its been a great time for me to think about life and what's in store for the future, plus I'm getting in shape again, which feels awesome! I've always enjoyed exercising but always seemed "too busy" to make time for it. I'd forgotten how much I love to run, even if it is on a treadmill :) The other nice thing about my membership is that it allows me to get into the pool for free. So I'm going to take my nephew Konrad to the pool today. I think he's pretty excited about using his "water-wings" and the fact that he'll get a treat at Tim Horton's afterward :) It'll be fun to have some time, just the two of us, and I'm sure Naomi will enjoy some time with only one little one at home.

As for jobs, I've started to look but still haven't really found anything that grabs me. It doesn't help that I'm completely unsure of what exactly I want to do. All I know is that I definitely need to do something totally different for a while. As much as I've enjoyed design and may come back to it eventually, I'm just feeling like I need a good change in my life. Something completely unrelated if possible. I'd like to see what other areas God has gifted me in and give those things a try for a while. Let's just hope there are other giftings :)

So with that, I'm just going to keep looking for work and in the meanwhile, continue enjoying coffee dates with friends, lunches out, pool dates with Konrad, and lots of time to exercise and ponder what life's all about.

Maybe this isn't so bad after all... :)

Dazed & confused. What next?

I've spent a lot of time thinking about whether or not to post this but have come to the conclusion that its inevitably going to come out at some point, so I might as well get it over with now. I got absolutely terrible news on Monday. I lost my job at the design firm. Yup. Just like that. Its over. After putting in 2 years there and having JUST finished/mailed my course on Friday, by Monday, it all came to a crashing halt. I'm still in total shock and feel very confused as to how this could have happened, but having 2 days under my belt now to think about it, I'm slowly realizing that this really isn't a terrible nightmare, its actually my reality. Its kind of a long story and I won't go into all the details as its still pretty hard to even have to admit but to sum it up, she found someone more qualified and figured that the company needed to move in that direction. I'm trusting that God has something far greater in store for me, though its pretty hard to see what that could possibly be right now. This is what I have always wanted to do. My whole life. Since I was a little kid, I always knew I wanted to be in design. So to have worked SO hard to finish my correspondence and after thinking I would just stay with the firm until Jon and I decided to have kids, I feel totally blind-sided and utterly confused that this has happened so suddenly and without any real warning. So... with that, I would truly appreciate your prayers. I have some big decisions to make that I had hoped I would never have to make and its a little daunting to say the very least.

I do know God is in control of this. Even though I'm totally devastated, I have felt His peace in the fact that He knew this would happen, even before he "knit me together in my mother's womb." (Psalm 139:13) This isn't too big for Him to handle and I am trusting Him with my future. I also know that it was no coincidence that I opened my Bible to these words, when I got home on Monday after hearing the awful news. And amidst my tears and confusion, He touched my heart with peace through these words,

"My child, listen to me and treasure my instructions. Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight and understanding. Search for them as you would for lost money or hidden treasure. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God. For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He grants a treasure of good sense to the godly. He is their shield, protecting those who walk with integrity. He guards the paths of justice and protects those who are faithful to him." - Proverbs 2:1-8 -

Guess this New Year is going to be even more interesting than I had originally thought.

Happy Birthday Jen!

Jen... we love you and hope your day was wonderful!
We're blessed to have you as a sister and pray that this year holds
many great things & rich blessings for both you and Craig.
Love you & Miss you!!

Oh what a GLORIOUS feeling!!

This day has been long in coming but I am so thrilled to be able to say that I am officially DONE my Interior Design Course! It took me a lot longer than I had originally planned but the fact that I got my job at the design firm shortly after starting my course 2 years ago, has been the main excuse for not staying motivated. I have learned significantly more from my job and having the "hands-on" experience, than I ever would have learned in my course but I've still been determined to finish my schooling. I've hated having to tell people that I'm "still working on my schooling" when they ask about my job. Plus, the percentage of people that actually finish correspondence schooling is slim to none and I really didn't want to be added to that percentage. I hate having things hanging over my head and I knew that even though I probably didn't need to finish this course (seeing as I have the job already), I wouldn't be happy until I could say that I had completed it. I did the entire course by correspondence--- not an easy way to do schooling, even though it wasn't 'rocket science' material. Staying motivated was extremely tough. But I am actually done and its hard to believe that I can finally say that. A profoundly satisfying feeling. So now I just have to wait to get my marks and certification back. So far my marks have been great, so as long as all goes well, I may even graduate with 'honours' or possibly even 'distinction.' 'Twould be nice :)

Don't wait

This weekend has been refreshing. Refreshing in a different but much needed way. I have been blessed with many rich conversations and words of truth. I feel encouraged. Deeply, in fact. And I've been doing a lot of thinking over the last few days. Its a new year and the possibilities are endless. I have absolutely NO idea what this year will hold, and though that is scary at times, its also exciting to think of what God can and will do in my life. I want to make myself available to Him. To be willing to follow, no matter how hazy plans may feel and no matter how easy it is to make excuses not to. I want to be faithful.

I was doing some reading last night before bed and came across Romans 5:6-11,

" When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, no one is likely to die for a good person, though someone might be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. And since we have been made right in God's sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God's judgment. For since we were restored to friendship with God by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be delivered from eternal punishment by his life. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God-- all because of what our Lord Jesus Christ has done for us in making us friends of God."

What incredible hope we have. We can be friends of God, even in spite of ourselves. In our helpless state, Christ comes through and loves us no matter what. Great, deep, overwhelming love.
This new year will indeed hold many things. And I know there will be tough times in amongst the good, but what I pray is that I will choose to be faithful. Even when its 'easier' not to be. Even when I can come up with a million and one reasons not to spend time with Him (none of which are ever valid). I want to choose to receive his grace, and then extend it to others. I want him to mold me into the person he wants me to be. One day at a time.

As I drove home from church today, these lyrics brought encouragement and inspiration to make this a good year, no matter what the circumstances may be. May He give me the grace to do so.

Don't Wait
Adie Camp

Lazy day
Just room enough for me to think
and pray about each new day
Draw me from my drowning
apathetic state

Stormy day
Just watch the rain
melt all my doubt away
Fire away the heated arrows
to my lukewarm state

Don't wait, don't wish away
Today is going to be the day He made
Don't waste, one day is all
that we've got to give and take

Bend and break my mind and heart
to feel the urgent need
To take all I see
and pour my life into eternity

And take it all today
And give everything
And take it all today

Lazy day
You're in everything that comes my way.