I took her to the health unit this morning and as she smiled and cooed at me while I had her registered & weighed, I felt like such an awful parent. I'm sure all of you mom's out there know exactly what I'm talking about. These poor, innocent little munchkins have no idea that they are about to be pricked & poked within an inch of their lives. And all the while, we, their parents, have to hold them pinned in our laps as they scream bloody murder. I had an exceptionally hard time not crying even harder than Callie. She was a real trooper though. The tears flowed and her screams were definitely heard, but it didn't take long to settle her down and before I knew it, she was smiling and talking to me again, almost as if nothing had ever happened. Phhhew... glad that's over. At least for another 2 months.
They didn't measure her length today but she weighed in at 12 lbs. 2 oz. which puts her in the 80th percentile for her age group. Yes, she is indeed "filling out" to say the least :) We see our doctor next week for the full 2 month check-up so I'll fill you in on all of her stats after that.
As for me, things are improving in some areas, and regressing in others. My tear has finally healed up so that is a HUGE relief. But as for breastfeeding, it continues to be an ongoing battle. I'm so frustrated with it because one week, things will be going great and I think we've finally turned a corner. And then the next week, something else goes wrong. I've had a number of nurses & lactation specialists tell me that Callie is latching well and I'm doing everything correctly, but the fact that I am as damaged as I am, tells me she's not. I'm dealing with really deep cracks & blisters right now and wonder if breastfeeding will ever not hurt. Plus, I have developed an extremely large blocked duct on one side, that isn't going away (and trust me, I've tried everything to get rid of it. Hot compress, cold compress, hot showers, massage, cabbage leaves, pumping, nursing on that side, and even a vitamin supplement called Lecithin. But to no avail), so they're sending me for an ultrasound later this week to ensure nothing else is wrong. And its hard because I feel like I'm all alone in this. Is it just me, or does no one else struggle like this with breastfeeding? Maybe its just that people don't like to share their nursing troubles, and that is fine, but my goodness is this proverbial tunnel feeling LONG, and the light seems awfully dim... if not, non-existent.
Anyway... I don't want to rant too much because on a positive note, Callie is officially sleeping through the night and has been for the last week and a half already. I never thought I'd be one to be blessed with a sleeping baby, but thank the Lord, I have. She seems to love the fact that we've got her into a solid routine. Every evening, we bath her at around 8:45pm, then I feed her at 9:00 and she's usually asleep by 9:30. Then she wakes at around 6:30am (today it was 7:30!!), happy as can be. I don't wake to her crying anymore, but rather, her kicking and talking in her crib. Its absolutely delightful! As soon as I lean over her crib, its all smiles. And every morning, I feel deeply blessed to be her Mommy.